My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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