Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize