My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
