Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
you would pick up someone in the library
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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