Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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