Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
