giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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