dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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