There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
