We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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