my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
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