so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
And my parents said I crawled through the house
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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