the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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