Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
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Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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