Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Terrible idea I love it
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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