It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I could fuck to npr.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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