You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
