So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
