He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
