If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
