hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
