That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
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Why is your signature on my underwear?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
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I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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