Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I need help removing her.
I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
