You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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