After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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