I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
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You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
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When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I love you. Go after that dick
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