Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
