The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
