last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize