I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Randomize
