The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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