I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Someone came in the potted fern
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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