saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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