The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize