This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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