My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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