38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
40s are totally the cure
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
