last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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