Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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