i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
