Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
