Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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