I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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