why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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