I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
