I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
