I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Shame - the story of my life.
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