Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
