On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
