you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
