I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
