this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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