you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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