He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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