i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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