alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
