And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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