Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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