You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
