I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
