He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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