I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
