I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
