Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
