I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
