yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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