chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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