I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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