so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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