yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
