does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
